guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think my moral compass just broke
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
