you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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