I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
