***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
