He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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