Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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