we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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