Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
