oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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