Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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