I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
