Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
