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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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