Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Text me some of your sweat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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