I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
