You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
