I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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