it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
