im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
