everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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