I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
