jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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