Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
