Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
