idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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