May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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