Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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