Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
