Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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