shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
