I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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