I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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