I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
