we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
