Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
