I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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