For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
