the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We need to feng shui this bitch.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
