You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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