U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
