Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
