I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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