How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
