I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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