I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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