So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
