I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
