bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
