Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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