I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
