she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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