you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He? As in you personified your dick?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
