Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
