You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
