Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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